Skip navigation

Have you started popping yer eyes out? Well I did nearly the same, when I read those words. Can love be frugal? Hey, please don’t run away from this amazingly inspiring stuff. This ain’t a piece of shit on managing recession in yer bedroom or something like that. In fact, this is about people who are rather acting like non-biological extraterrestrial (well, I am proud of being the one, but I wouldn’t do this in love) and no longer care about their togetherness. They have lost that romantic identity of being a ‘couple’.

Guys and bhens, why ain’t you realise that the Chopras and Johars in this world have done so much to make us understand that love ain’t cost a thing. So you just please do it. You just do it. And you won’t have to wear Nike for that. You still can do it and want more of it by giving more of it. I swear to the God I believe in. This article is simply not about seeing yer gynaecologist or sex consultant or psychiatrist or any such cheap Hindi film type stuff that can be thought of about the ‘key words’ such as love & marriage. Now show that emotion…say “Gee, this is fun”. That’s like an asshole-trying-to-improve act. Nice. Bcoz this article is all about those Anurag Kashyap type emotions. Dear jerks, I reiterate, we are not gonna talk about those a, b, c or d grade hindi films, songs, television commercials or just about any of those things which are quite mortal in their ability to keep our love immortal. Wah bhidu kya line hai!

This is a very divine move, for aam janta (no I do not mean ordinary people in that sense of the word, coz ‘ordinary people’ can not know what’s love)! Never guessed if I would be taking some time out from my vichitra schedule and help you nerds to get it right. Technology (I mean wordpress) indeed is a pedestal for empowerment, here it’s lovempowerment.

OK, put that thing down. I realise that you are finding something to smash yer screen. Let me come to the point. This advice, just like any other piece of writing is a derivative born out of an incident. Actually there are two incidents. Quite in opposing directions. It’s about two couples I know. Thus, if you so like it, you can also think of this as Incident Broadcast Network.

Couple 1:
Nice people turning boring, doing lacklustre things in their married life, taking the romantic juice (testosterone n estrogen) out of their sweet togetherness, ridiculing the potential of their passionate naughtiness…ultimately creating a hormonal anomaly even God wouldn’t agree with!

This couple turned a couple at an age when they hardly knew what it means! Having shared a fantastic courtship of about 10 years (including 4 years of adult & intense version, requiring parental guidance for those of you under 18 reading this). Beginning from their chaddi days in school, when they actually began to feel the urge of ‘sharing’, though initially it meant sharing of their lunch box or may be bhel-puri, they have always been super-romantic. And they were so quite naturally. Have this example. They spent their honeymoon at a refugee camp along Indo-Pak border. The reason they cited was so innovatively raunchy. They said the area always experienced military tension and every now & then the troops exchanged heavy gun-fire. Those sounds offered them a typical chilling effect. A combination of thrill and adrenalin pumping. So they had abundant opportunities to stay glued to each other, as each moment only added to their excitement, of sharing each other passionately. Yummy, right…He He He. How creative and crazy they were in love!

However, this was soon going to change. This High Definition DVD version of their romantic life shortly turned into a pale pirated CD type. Fading the clarity, curbing the oomph factor and depriving them of their mutual passion. When I got to meet them after they entered this version of their marriage life, it felt like I was only watching a good demo of a really bad X Box 360 game (OK, Playstation 3, if it hurts yer brand loyalty). I felt sick for them. But I didn’t pity them, coz losers they were, since they volunteered to become so. Upon conducting some smart social investigation into this weather change, I realised that they are finding it hard to keep the fire alive. Surprisingly there were no compatibility issues of any sort…including hormonal or mental. They were resorting to basically what can be termed as the ‘trivial’ means of enjoyment, like those hedonistic stuff. They were shying away from their natural feelings, they bloody thought it wouldn’t be like acting their age. What the hell! They had forgotten a fact that when in love, you have to spend yourself on each other. Gotta spend your emotions lavishly. But this couple in the process turned their feelings more obsolete. A free wheeling dialogue was necessary which they never arranged. They made their love a frugal affair. It shifted from being a priority to becoming a formality. There was no jhataka or jhakaas stuff left any more. They slowly turned wise in spending themselves on each other. So fucking unromantic. My career, my priorities and I live on the edge…all this metrosexual crap in next to no time violated every fragile aspect of their emotional connection.

Unke ghar ki chai mein bhi woh mithash na rahi. (Wah wah kya solid dhansu line hai bhidu!) I am not going to write any further, coz this is real. It’s not that bollywood shit thing that I went ahead and repaired their problem n they lived happily ever after. This is vichitraville, no space for chu@i$apatti. Dil ki baat keyboard se, ekdum honestly.

Couple 2
Uparwalla ghazab hai, kahani mein solid twist hai bhidu!!!
Apparently boring people turning into a sweet nice couple, doing every single mandatory thing in their married life, pumping the romantic juice (testosterone n estrogen) in their already juicy togetherness, excelling at sharing sweet nothings…ultimately creating a super-cool romantic version of life that even the Almighty would envy!

Let me offer you a very startling beginning. They indeed began as what looked like a very odd couple, in fact their odds too appeared quite odd!

Meet The Boy> He is a typical ‘gaon-ka-chhora-aaya-shaheramein-pitane-dhindhora’ (a small village boy entering the urban city life, while nursing great career ambitions) web programmer having fanatical passion for PHP programming. He is Mitesh. You meet him and talk about computer programming, and it’s more than likely for you to believe that he is the messiah sent for developing PHP to the next level. Whenever he’s working or googling about open source / free web technologies, he behaves like a disturb-me-only-if-your-balls-are-made-of-steel loner, only wanting to explore his compulsive penchant for PHP n Ubuntu n what not! He simply didn’t care about good things in life. For example, even after entering his early 20s, showed no respect for beautiful girls (never popped his eyes like they show it on Cartoon Network). While we whistled or gazed at bootylicious babes, this guy used to proof-read them…a real freak, suffering from an incurable obsession with programming n coding. He used to suggest proper CSS for their curves. Not even remotely hilarious! He used to watch a lot of HBO n Star Movies. Yet, didn’t know the word ‘mating season’, I mean yeh to too much ho gaya! On the other hand, there was no apparent reason to feel worried. But I thought he’s one of those who believes older men make better lovers and might experience that hormonal urge at a relatively later phase in life.

He believed love is a glove, n better not to get caught in it. It was all going to change, sooner than I expected, certainly quicker than anyone did!!!

Meet The Girl> She is a simple lace from a small village in Gujarat. A Zoologist by profession. A bright student and a good human. She is Minal. Naam hai kitna komal. Are wah kya rhyme hota hai bhidu! Live and let live is the dictum she swears by. But you might say that none of this introduces her as a relevant character to this Frugal Love discussion. So right you are. Although both Minal and Mitesh wore this simple persona, they didn’t know about the surprise awaiting them!

This surprise was the day when they met. A meeting arranged by their family. And it went so productive. 100% RoI. Aur pyar ho gaya. They instantly acknowledged that ‘tu hi hai meri salma, aur main hi hun tera balma’. So fast they got. Wow. The Fast and the Furious also released the same day, what a twist of fate!  They suddenly knew that there does exist this fairytale truth…this ‘Made for Each Other’ sensation. They felt like being a part of an undeniable chemical reaction stimulus. They felt like being awarded with ample incentives to come closer. Their heart spurred millions of feelings. Each feeling echoed ‘Chal bhaag jaye. To hell with PHP, to hell with Zoology!

Minal met her Zeus. Mitesh found his Aphrodite. Nothing Greek about it. The town of Navsari suddenly turned more enchanting than New York. They began to relish the curry treat of their life. Bought 2 Reliance mobiles. Free talking. Unlimited bandwidth for one naughty and cute connection. Only to want more of it. They couldn’t resist this appetite for their love and affection for longer. Their courtship lasted for only 6 months. THEY GOT MARRIED.

Today, it’s been about 5 years since that phenomenon. But their zest is as intense as ever. They still want each other. They are not finding the meaning of togetherness in the things made of shit. They don’t shy away from their urge to show and say how they feel about each other. They ain’t dope on hedonism. Not even interested in becoming metrosexual. No space for faltu ch@#iyapai in their life. They don’t want to buy big cars or villas. They have chosen to invest in the finer things in life. Like love, affection, care, trust and commitment. Having said that, it doesn’t mean they have deprived themselves of any pleasure they deserve. In fact they are living the iPod version of their life, and they are not even missing any updates!!! Downloading every fun they can. Like watching Oye Lucky, Lucky Oye 15 times. Or eating Idli sambhar with chocolate brownie. Aren’t they so real freak? Cute right! They have changed themselves for each other. Mitesh, who never knew tucking in a T-shirt now flaunts cool ensemble of khadi-stuff designed by NID! He recently gifted Minal a chic new iPod touch. And she gifted him a Playboy perfume.

They are spending themselves, on each other. Irrespective of the situation they are in. Even when they are away. Their love is not frugal. What a beautiful life. Meri to aankhen bhar ayin, jealousy se!

This couple is an inspiration (a good example to believe in) for those asshole couples who smoke their life in material pleasures, eventually resulting in either hatred, incompatibility or in worst case…infidelity. Love by its virtue is abundant in its power to give. Consider yourself lucky if you are married to the person you love.

This story is for sale…any takers…Anurag Kashyap? Ramu? Vikram Bhatt? Quentin Tarantino? Sala talent hi nahi hai duniya mein.

Advertisements

2 Comments

  1. his High Definition DVD version of their romantic life shortly turned into a pale pirated CD type….ha ha ha…i love this line the most… i mean what goes on in your brains is worth a thought… somewhere it all makes sense… to me atleast… dont know about the other bozos.. bro, ur rocking with this post… and trying making a post and not a page anymore… ! keep blogging! :mrgreen:

  2. Ek aahat si mehsus ho rahi hai,
    bina paigam ke hi… (without any mature thoughts information trying to comprehend …)

    Madhosi si chaa rahi hai,
    bina jaam ke hi… (without any alcohol information hovering on my backhead…)

    Tanhaiyaan angadai le rahi hai,
    bina neend ke hi… (without any experience information filrting with my senses..)

    In this heavy traffic my green lights jammed between mortal & immortal, power & empowerment…
    At how much extent technology(web world)can torture human being’s JOURNEY???(sooooorry!! its my mistake.. the perfect word I cant able to find as I haven’t any encyclopedia kinda brain which can generate a word at a moment, so I couldn’t replace the “JOURNEY” word.)

    hmmm…so I am here for waah, waah!!! (precisely!!!)just like cheer LEADERS!!(oops! cheer girls na??? well again I done a mistake!)I havent drink any cocktail, mocktail before…(M talkin bout drink which contains alcohol…sounds dumb???) So I wan to experience it right now!( LOVE injected alcohol in my NUBS but somehow alcohol failed to create heavy dose which can shake any HUMAN( sooooorry!!! again I done a mistake. I couldnt replace the “HUMAN” word! but readers can think bout “ANIMAL” ) for the moment…LOVE become lust, but LUST can never become love…well, well, well, dont try to fill gray colours in your clouds which I rendered in last line…othrwise your whole plan, elevation turn in faulty notion n the new information can become a question mark …your kingdom wont help you…Even my realm is unable to solve this mystery….Mystery se yaad aaya (Again sooory !! I changed my track as this is a script demand. Because audience want to feel threal (thrill???..then its not a mistake, M right this time) every moment so, let me create 2nd paragraph….

    Mystery se yaad aaya oops !!! 12 am ??? chal bye..( let me close this story here will start next time…)

    “VICHITRAVILLE” saras word che ane mane toh vichitra j vicharo aave che bol!!!
    Baka bahu saras story che!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~#@$@( I must say coz heavy dose still intrupting my processor !!!! n errors u have li’l bit experienced na???) Keep continue..so I can torture my lakshya!!!!!!!!!!(m talkin abt information)…

    “Unke ghar ki chai mein bhi woh mithash na rahi..” waah!! kya shabd prayog hai! Writer ki hi toh nishani hai…!!!!!!!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: